I Watched Another Kid Bully My Son

The first time my son told me another kid teased and made fun of him, I fought the impulse to hunt down the other boy. I told myself that my preschooler needed to learn to stand up for himself because I won’t always be around for him.

But this morning, while we were at a science summer camp, I watched as a much older and bigger boy teased my six-year old incessantly. Again, I resisted the impulse to grab the other boy by the hair and instead waited to see how Ten would handle the situation.

My kid kept telling him to stop. But the bully simply ignored him and kept on throwing pieces of adhesive tape into my son’s face.  Until my brave little boy suddenly had enough. He began sobbing and hitting the bully. That was when I dragged him away and comforted him.

But I didn’t know how to explain it to him why some kids are just mean.  Because that was what the other kid clearly was.  Being a head taller than my son and four years older, he was a bully.  And disrespectful, too. While I normally don’t like to tell other people’s kid what they should or shouldn’t do, I had to tell the other boy he shouldn’t tease other children, more so those much younger than him. He ignored me.

We left the workshop with me reassuring my son that no matter what mean things other kids do or say to him, he’s still a better person than them. I was also glad, though I couldn’t tell my son, that he was able to get a few punches in!

But I still wonder if I should have intervened earlier.

What do you do when you see another kid hit your child?  Is it okay to teach them to hit back? I’d love to hear your thoughts, moms.

image from: thebullyproject.com 

 

 

  • Lorielyn Rances

    hello absolutely mommy! if i am in your position po, i think ganyan din gagawin ko. Hindi talaga natin maiiwasan na may mag-bully to our child. Even my two yr old son experinced that if maglalayo kami outside with other children. gusto. Masakit kaya tignan na sinasaktan anak natin. But wala naman po ako sa posisyon para pagalitan yong nag-bully. wat i did was kinuha ko son ko and nilayo ko doon sa nagbully. Since ang bata pa naman son ko, i told him na wag na lumapit doon kasi bad xa. ayaw ko kasi maregister sa mind ni ghab na ok lang manakit. ayaw ko maging ganun xa in the future.Hindi rin dapat na sabihan sya na manakit din kasi ayaw ko na man ma-register sa mind niya na ok lang manakit xa everytime sinasaktan xa. Since friend ko naman at neighbor yong bata na nagbully kay ghab, sinabihan ko nalang sya para sya na ang bahala kumausap sa anak niya.

    • absolutely mommy

      Thanks, Mommy Lorielyn. What I don’t understand is that why we are the ones who are forced to pick up our child and leave the area when we’re the aggrieved party. And it’s not that easy to tell the parents of the other child, that his or her son is a bully. If only all parents will teach their kids to be nicer to others, we won’t have this problem.

  • Lorielyn Rances

    hello absolutely mommy! if i am in your position po, i think ganyan din gagawin ko. Hindi talaga natin maiiwasan na may mag-bully to our child. Even my two yr old son experinced that if maglalaro kami outside with other children. Masakit kaya tignan na sinasaktan anak natin. But wala naman po ako sa posisyon para pagalitan yong nag-bully. What i did was kinuha ko son ko and nilayo ko doon sa nagbully. Since ang bata pa naman son ko, i told him na wag na lumapit doon kasi bad sya. ayaw ko kasi maregister sa mind ni ghab na ok lang manakit. Ayaw ko na maging ganun sya in the future.Hindi rin dapat na sabihan sya na manakit din kasi ayaw ko na man ma-register sa mind niya na ok lang manakit sya everytime sinasaktan sya. Since friend ko naman at neighbor yong mommy ng bata na nagbully kay ghab, sinabihan ko nalang sya sa nangyari para sya na ang bahala kumausap sa anak niya.